The tragic side effect of rampant HGH abuse: terrible, terrible movie sequels.

In the biggest surprise since finding out your girlfriend has a penis, Sylvester Stallone has announced his next chapter in the “John Rambo” saga, and it has gotten worse. It has tentatively been called “Rambo 5: The Savage Hunt”… 

“John Rambo could track anyone – or anything – on earth. Now the military desperately needs him for a mission that his ultrasensitive instincts tell him he should refuse. A beast is loose somewhere north of the Arctic Circle. It has already decimated a secret research facility and annihilated a squad of elite military guards. And the raging creature is headed south toward civilization, ready to wreak bloody devastation.

“It’s a job that Rambo and his 22-year-old hunting partner, Beau Brady, can’t turn down, but they and a team of highly-skilled special forces kill team discover that the prey is a terror beyond their wildest imagination – a half-human abomination created by a renegade agency through a series of outlawed genetic experiments. It has man’s cunning, a predator’s savageness, and a prehistoric power that has transcended the ages. And even if Rambo and Beau survive its unrelenting hunger for human blood, they’ll still have to contront the grim reality that it may have grown immortal.”

  Now, instead of having a man spewing incomprehensible nonsense to a 4 foot vitenemese man who cannot even understand english, we will have Rambo saying gems like “I’m your worst nightmare” to a 9 foot beast who probably speaks more clearly than he does.

Can’t wait…

[via ComingSoon.net]