A good friend of mine is starting an Etsy shop, and I was perusing the shops for some Xmas gift ideas (and to avoid the massive amounts of files built up on my desk) and I came across a shop called (this is no joke) Vulva Love Lovely.  It’s really and truly an entire commercial venture based on women loving their own ladybits.

The merchandise itself is not really what I have an issue with, but the descriptions of some of the products can provide some serious adolescent-sense-of-humor entertainment.  Here’s an excerpt from the description of just one of many options available for a custom-made vagine (that’s French for vah-jay-jay):

Celebrate your own beauty.

Each piece is an original, one of a kind hand sculpted image of its owner to remind her that regardless of what the world and the people in it may tell her: she is beautiful.

After purchasing you can e-mail 2-3 photos of your Yoni to: VulvaLoveLovely [!at] Gmail.com. Please include chain choice: Antique copper or gunmetal (shown in the final photo) in the ‘message to seller’ section at checkout.

First, this entire operation would be the best fraternity prank EVER -  no one could have come up with an easier way to get women to send them pictures of their ‘Yoni’ over the internet than this.  But never fear!  Nervous that your ‘Yoni’ picture will be pimped out over the internet? (because really, have LaLohan and Brit Brit taught us NOTHING about vaginas and the internet?) But you still want to wear your vagina around your neck?  There’s an alternative! Hooray!!

If you are not comfortable sending pictures you also have to option of sending me a description of your Yoni.

In your description please include:
*The shape of your inner and outer labia
*colors
*how much or how little your inner labia extend out from your outer labia
*how well hidden your clitoris is, is it heavily hooded or can you see it fairly easily?

Or really, you could save yourself the $23 plus shipping and just walk around without any pants… just sayin.