Some genius child in Colorado stole his parents hot air balloon and is now stranded in the air with no possible way to get down short of hurling toward solid ground at mach 3 . Here’s the deets.
“Officials are trying to rescue a 6-year-old boy who climbed into a balloon-like experimental aircraft built by his parents and floated into the sky over eastern Colorado…
The helium balloon was tethered to the boy’s family home in Fort Collins, the Larimer County Sheriff’s Department said. The boy got into the craft Thursday morning and undid the rope anchoring it. The department said the dome-shaped balloon is 20 feet long and 5 feet high.”
The only things I could steal from my parents were their car, maybe some fancy sex dolls, and a few different types of hallucinogens, but how cool would it be if you had parents that built shit like helium balloons that you could lure hot chicks into with promises of a romantic tryst at an altitude of approximately 10,000 feet. Hey baby ever have an orgasm while plummeting towards a mountain at breakneck speed? The air is a little thin up here baby so it’s probly better you don’t choke me with my belt while you stomp on my man business with your stilletos…A boy can dream.
The much anticipated sequel to Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare will be released on November 10th and I am more excited than a pedophile in Disney World. Too much? Anyway, I saw the new trailer and instantly went out to reserve the Modern Warfare 2 prestige edition. What’s the prestige edition you say? It comes with Modern warfare 2, a book with artwork, and…NIGHT VISION GOGGLES! you heard right you nerdy son of a bitch, functioning night vision goggles. It’s substantially pricier than the regular game, but you are getting a pair of night vision goggles, so what’s more important? Saving money or having the luxury of masturbating in your neighbor’s yard at night without falling into a thorn bush and having your baby sack impaled? I rest my case. Starting November 10th, I will be off the radar until…at least 2012, and we’re going to die anyway…and I ain’t going out a lieutenant. So tell your girlfriends to stop talking, make you some hot pockets and watch their big strong man get pale and fat while simultaneously getting carpal tunnel in both wrists. Read on for the trailer.
Now, I actually think this looks promising. It’s a little disturbing that Jackie Earlie Hailey is playing his second movie as a child molester (his first being Little Children), but that’s Hollywood.
I hope they don’t do to this movie what they did to Halloween, Friday the 13th and other classics…and that is bend them over, pull down their underwear of awesomeness, and pummel their heinie with horrible dialogue and a putrid script. Wow, you really can relate ass-rape to everything.
