As everyone has undoubtedly heard, Tiger Woods was caught and apparently beaten by his wife for swinging his “club” as other women’s vaginas. Now, a new woman has come out every day since the news of his first affair first broke and his wife wants blood. Tiger has reportedly offered his wife millions to keep her trap shut and even more to stay with him.  His poonanny count is up to 9 now and his collection is comprised of models, club owners, porn stars, and even a midget. I made that last part up, but it is only monday. This is yet another story about how a millionaire loses it all for the carnal treasure located between women’s luscious thighs. I need to be alone. Good luck Tiger! That won’t help…you and your cartoonish smile are FUCKED.

Check out some of his ladies below: Jaimee Grubbs, Rachel Uchitel, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Junger, Cori Rist and Mindy Lawton

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Carrie Prejean [Miss California: Gays Hate Her, Fox News loves her] demanded more than a million dollars during her settlement negotiations with Miss California USA Pageant officials — that is, until the lawyer for the Pageant showed Carrie an XXX home video of her handiwork.

The video the lawyer showed Carrie is extremely graphic and has never been released publicly. We know that, because TMZ obtained the video months ago but decided not to post it because it was so racy. Let’s just say, Carrie has a promising solo career.

We’re told it took about 15 seconds for Carrie to jettison her demand and essentially walk away with nothing [LAWSUIT FAIL!]. As we first reported, the Pageant is paying around $100,000 to her lawyers and publicist — a fraction of her bills. She pockets nothing in the settlement.

via TMZ.com.

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Whoops...

Who knows how posterity will view this move, but I for one say he manned up and faced the camera and admitted this to his audience. Hit the link to watch the video.

Late-night host David Letterman acknowledged on Thursday’s show that he had sexual relationships with female employees and that someone tried to extort $2 million from him over the affairs. CBS says an employee has been charged with attempted grand larceny in the case.

Letterman told his story during a taping of his show, mixing in jokes to an audience that seemed confused about what it was. He called it a “bizarre experience” that left him feeling disturbed and menaced.

[via Huffington Post]

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This is my house now!

This just in:

“Jon & Kate Plus 8″ will soon be simply “Kate Plus Eight.”

That’s the word from the TLC network, who announced Tuesday that its hit reality show is adapting to changes in the Gosselin household, which has been disrupted by the split up of Kate and Jon.

To be honest, I was expecting the show to become ‘Jon Plus Eight (and an STD)’ and for Kate to get a spin off on MTV ’s “Real World: Kate’s Womb” where 8 unemployed self-entitled college coeds, grads, and high school drop outs try to live together in the Gosselin uterus.

Oh Well. There’s always sweeps week.

[via omg! news]

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The tragic side effect of rampant HGH abuse: terrible, terrible movie sequels.

In the biggest surprise since finding out your girlfriend has a penis, Sylvester Stallone has announced his next chapter in the “John Rambo” saga, and it has gotten worse. It has tentatively been called “Rambo 5: The Savage Hunt”… 

“John Rambo could track anyone – or anything – on earth. Now the military desperately needs him for a mission that his ultrasensitive instincts tell him he should refuse. A beast is loose somewhere north of the Arctic Circle. It has already decimated a secret research facility and annihilated a squad of elite military guards. And the raging creature is headed south toward civilization, ready to wreak bloody devastation.

“It’s a job that Rambo and his 22-year-old hunting partner, Beau Brady, can’t turn down, but they and a team of highly-skilled special forces kill team discover that the prey is a terror beyond their wildest imagination – a half-human abomination created by a renegade agency through a series of outlawed genetic experiments. It has man’s cunning, a predator’s savageness, and a prehistoric power that has transcended the ages. And even if Rambo and Beau survive its unrelenting hunger for human blood, they’ll still have to contront the grim reality that it may have grown immortal.”

  Now, instead of having a man spewing incomprehensible nonsense to a 4 foot vitenemese man who cannot even understand english, we will have Rambo saying gems like “I’m your worst nightmare” to a 9 foot beast who probably speaks more clearly than he does.

Can’t wait…

[via ComingSoon.net]

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Fool me once shame on you fool me twice.. er… Vanessa Hudgens is a whore! NAH… she’s probably not. Which just further reinforces my desire for sons. But due to the karmic deficit I’ve built up over years as a manwhore i will probably have twin girls… or triplets. Hot, slutty ones. Read on for the pics.

Believe it or not, we have scruples here at Word Salad. Posting (possibly) pedophilic soft-core porn is, thankfully, not one of them but we are broke and cannot afford to be sued ::cough:: sour grapes ::cough::.

That will not, however, prevent us from posting a link [NSFW-topless] to a site that laughs in the face of over-litigious frivolity or providing a link to download [lots of popups] the whole lot of them for some offline fap time.

Oh and in case you missed it 2 years ago, here was her first set of photos [NSFW - full frontal nudity].

Let’s not kid ourselves, you were going to find them anyway….

And for those of you who were really hoping for some topless celeb action… well, alright.

Russian president Vladimir Putin. Nice pole comrade.

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Amazingly this picture was taken BEFORE his face met with the floor after 6 feet of 9.8m/s of acceleration. Physics FTW!

The TMZ Video is priceless.

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Child-exploiter, product placement shill and recent divorcee Kate Gosselin is now immortalized via wig. Really hurting for a Halloween costume idea? How about going as Jon?

I have enough Ed Hardy gear, now all i need is a 20 year old coke shoveling co-ed. Leave your number in the comments ladies.

The purposefully ambiguous product description all but ensures that Kate “Husband Stitch” Gosselin (can you say hotdog down a hallway?) doesn’t get her money grubbing paws on any of the proceeds.

“So sleek and so stylish, this blond retro wig will make people think you have eight children and are married to a newspaper columnist (WTF??). Features a blond 80’s-inspired wig that’s smooth and face-framing in the front with a short and puffy back that’s full of volume.

For eight is enough to fill our lives my sad, lonely, pathetic existence with love!”

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I went to a Catholic High School mostly because “all my friends were going”, and because I got to wear a pretty cute uniform skirt which I’d hike up every chance I got ; An act that very often landed me in detention.

While I didn’t really pay too much attention in Religion class, I did come away with a few things. Some rules Catholicism likes to call The 10 Commandments. Numero Uno on His list is not worshiping any other gods. Yours truly went through a Wiccan stage in High School but I’m pretty certain that any of the Gods/Goddesses I was worshiping at the time were way fucking cooler than Shia LaBeouf, so forgive me if this collection of artwork from crazed fans is a wee bit disturbing.  As a culture we tend to take our celebrities and turn them into Gods. Now, fans are creating their own religions based on these celebs.

I recently found out there is a fictional religion in which LaBeouf is the Messiah, called The Church of Shiantology. Don’t believe me? Well feast your heathen eyes on the link below:

A letter from Shia to the Shiatonians

Are these girls/women wowed by his dynamite performance as the annoying little brother on Disney’s Even Stevens? His oscar worthy acting in Holes? Perhaps it was just his steamy 3 minute, not even any wang showing, make out scene in Disturbia? I just don’t get it.  By conventional standards, he isn’t even that good looking. He’s certainly not a Clooney (who gets my vote for most God like) or a DiCaprio, he’s barely a Haim or a Feldman in terms of talent! (Yes, both Corey’s are more fascinating to me than LaBeouf)

But wait..you know what?..Hang on, the more I think of it, the more these Shiantologists have a valid point! Let’s go to the showdown:

Jesus Vs Shia SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! RACEEWAYYY PARK!

Jesus – performed miracles e.g. loaves & fishes, water into wine, healing the sick, sacrificed himself and remained celibate for the good of mankind.

Shia- saves the world from robots while banging Megan Fox and then bangs Rhianna before she gets her face all messed up by Chris Brown. So really, I’m pretty sure Shia wins this battle. K.O.!

I’m sold. Do you Shiantologists serve punch and cookies after the service?

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