1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room.
2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
5. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal.
6. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
7. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9.
8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it).
11. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return.
12. Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
13. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
14. Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
15. Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever.
16. Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.
17. “It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris.
18. Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
19. Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
20. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
21. Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm.
22. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
23. Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
24. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
25. When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”.

Got any more? Comment them below…

via codesqueeze.com.

In “I totally would have done this in high school” news, four techno-hooligans setup a a fake Facebook Profile for a dweeb they pick on in high school. After amassing almost 600 friends, most of which had no idea the profile was fake, it finally came to the attention of the kid’s mother, and she did what any suburban housewife with too much free time on her hands and a jumbo mortgage would do: she sued.

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After an email account was recently hijacked, I reviewed the security and back-up software of my various computers. I had let the Norton Internet Security subscription expire on a rarely used desktop. This was the culprit.

There are three levels of protection for your computer:

• Basic Anti-virus
• Internet Security
• Backup and Protection Suite

The bare minimum any computer needs is Internet Security.

The three main (paid- there are some viable free software packages) competitors in this space are:

• McAffe
• Norton
• Kaspersky

Read More…