Excerpt from Official Election Board Document

Check out this document the New York times got its leftist hands on. Don’t worry, it’s a pdf so it will look like you are doing work…

Read More…

Ok, so there’s a kid who cries blood. Obviously he’s a whiny bitch, because his mother has about 100 pictures of his blood soaked face. Dude, you’re letting the whole world know you cry all day. I’m no doctor, but it’s obvious he’s either been bitten by a vampire or cries so much his tear glands are just screaming “ENOUGH ALREADY YOU PUSSY!”.

I fail to see what he’s so worried about because my eyes are red and bleeding all the time, and no matter how many times that bitch maces me I will still pass out on her lawn naked when I drink too much. You heard me you old hag! I mean, Mom. Hit the jump for embedded video.

Read More…

“Bill Gates: saving the world one titty joint at a time.”
      
I come across some really odd articles while I am boogie boarding the net, but this one takes the cake. At cnn.com, there’s an article about how William Gates, one of the richest men on the planet, wants to patent a technology that can actually stop a hurricane from happening.

“Gates and a dozen other scientists have raised eyebrows by submitting patent applications for a technology to reduce the danger of approaching hurricanes by cooling ocean temperatures.”

Now look, if I were worth 500 bajillion dollars I would probably have a few crazy ideas of my own like eradicating the entire shark, spider, and snake population because they are the 3 things that trigger my “girl scream”, or pay Megan Fox, Bar Rafaeli, and Jessica Biel 50 Billion a piece to participate in a foursome with me. Now I know what you’re saying, “they would bang you for free you handsome piece of man”, and you are probably right, but the 50 billion is more for their discretion about my performance and presentation than the actual sex itself, because what’s the point of being a billionaire when everyone knows you suck in bed and are hung like an infant hamster. They go on to explain their approach to this massive, suicidal and no doubt, bat-shit crazy expensive endeavor…
Read More…